You can move this picture: drag it, press and hold then drag on a touch screen, or use the arrow keys.Printable guide 17.03

The Clay Hole University · Thoughts from Dan

Making Friends as an Adult Is BrutalPrintable pottery guide

An open letter on why making friends after twenty five is so hard, what actually builds a friendship, and the six things that help on the walk from the car to the door.

$5.005 guides, 1 free
  • An open letter
  • 16 printable pages
  • 13-term glossary
  • 5 questions for you

Flip through the free sample
  • Instant download
  • Prints on any home printer
  • The full lesson stays free online
The printable, at a glance

What is the printable edition of Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal?

It is the open letter of the same name, printed so you can hold it and write on it. It starts with a text somebody sent the studio at 9:40 on a Tuesday night, asking whether it would be weird to come alone. Dan explains what changed after twenty five, why you cannot schedule a friendship and can only schedule the room, and what the first eight weeks of turning up actually feel like. Then six things that help. On paper it adds a page for logging those eight weeks, a short glossary, five questions to answer for yourself, and three lessons to go on with.

Prefer to read it online first? “Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal” is free to read, and always will be.

  • 16printable pages, US Letter
  • 5questions to answer for yourself, with the letter’s own notes
  • 7QR codes, each on a short Clay Hole address
  • 13glossary terms in plain language
  • 1workbook pages you fill in yourself
Why a printable, for this one

You cannot schedule a friendship. You can only schedule the room.

Until about twenty five, proximity did the work: school, dorms, the first job. Then the rooms went away, and nobody warned anybody.

This letter is about the machinery rather than the feeling. Repetition nobody has to negotiate, something to do with your hands, and no agenda at all.

It ends in six things that help, and a page for logging your first eight weeks anywhere new.

Look inside

Real pages from the letter

These are actual pages from the guide, shown here with the sample watermark. The full guide has none.

  • Page 3 of the “Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal” printable guide: the letter begins, shown with the sample watermark
    The letter beginsA text at 9:40 on a Tuesday night, asking whether it would be weird to come alone.
  • Page 11 of the “Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal” printable guide: your first eight weeks, shown with the sample watermark
    Your first eight weeksOne row a week: what happened, whether you got there early, and the names you know.
  • Page 12 of the “Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal” printable guide: the glossary, shown with the sample watermark
    The glossaryThirteen of the letter’s own words, from third places to the week three dip.
  • Page 13 of the “Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal” printable guide: questions for you, shown with the sample watermark
    Questions for youFive questions with no right answers, and what the letter says about each.
Flip through the free sampleSeven pages, free, no email required.
Paper beats the screen here

A letter you can hold

It is a letter about turning up in a room. It reads better away from the phone that has been offering you rooms instead.

  • Eight weeks, one row each

    Week three is a liar. The log is how you see that for yourself.

  • Six things that help

    What to do on the walk from the car to the door, in order.

  • The week by week map

    What weeks one, two, three and six actually feel like, so none of them surprises you.

  • Something to keep

    A letter to reread in week three, when nothing has happened yet.

How the guide is built

Built to be read once and kept

Every guide in the series is designed as a workbook first and a document second. For this one, that means:

  • The whole letter, unchanged

    Dan’s words, start to sign off, including both postscripts.

  • A page to write on

    Eight weeks of turning up, logged one row at a time.

  • The six things that help

    Gathered where you can find them again.

  • Thirteen words worth knowing

    From third places to the standing night.

  • Codes that keep working

    Every QR code points at a short Clay Hole address, so a printed copy keeps working when a video moves.

Why the University is free

The lesson is free. It always will be.

All of the teaching in this guide comes from the free “Making Friends as an Adult Is Brutal” lesson at The Clay Hole University. No paywall, no sign-up, no catch.

Somebody texted us at 9:40 on a Tuesday night to ask whether it would be weird to come alone. Not what it cost. Whether it would be weird. That question is why this letter exists, and why it stays free.

The University is free and stays free. The guides are the version rebuilt for paper with an unreasonable amount of care, and buying one keeps the free side going.

Thank you. Genuinely.

Dan Pearce, founder of The Clay Hole
Collect them

Build a little pottery library

Every guide carries a permanent number. This one is 17.03, the third letter in Thoughts from Dan. The series is designed to live together in a binder, section by section, so the craft ends up on your shelf in the order you learn it.

Put any five printable guides in your cart and the cheapest one is on us. Put in nine and the two cheapest are on us. It happens automatically at checkout, no code to remember.

See every printable guide

  • 5guides in your cart1 on us
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Where this leads

Where this letter leads

These lessons pick up where this one leaves off. Each one is free to read now.

Good questions

Before you buy

Is this different from the free letter?
The words are the same, and the letter is free to read online. The printable adds a page for logging your first eight weeks, a glossary, five questions to answer for yourself, and three lessons to go on with.
Is this a pottery lesson?
No. It is a letter about adult friendship, written by a potter who built a room for it. Nothing in it needs clay.
Is there a quiz?
There are five questions, and none of them has a right answer. Four ask you something about yourself and one asks you to grade yourself. The page after them is what the letter says about each.
I am not going to join a pottery studio. Is it still useful?
Yes. The six things that help work for any room you keep turning up to, and the letter says so.
Do I need a fancy printer?
No. It is designed for an ordinary home or office printer on regular US Letter paper, with nothing important near the edges, so normal printer margins cut nothing off.
Can I print it in black and white?
Yes. Nothing depends on color, and we looked at the workbook pages in grayscale to be sure.
Can I use it on an iPad or laptop instead?
Yes. Every QR code in the guide is also a tappable link, so on a screen you just tap instead of scanning.
How do I get it after I buy?
Right after checkout you get a download link by email and on your order confirmation page. Each link works up to seven times.
What if the guide gets updated?
Every edition carries a version number. When we correct or improve a guide, everyone who bought it gets an email with the new edition at no charge.
Can I share it with my class or studio?
Please don’t. It is licensed for your own personal use. Anyone can read the full lesson free online, and the printable is here if they want their own copy.

Pick a night. Then keep picking it.

Print it, keep it for week three, and log the first eight weeks.

Get the printable · $5.00

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Terms version 2026-09-19b