Wanna know one of the hardest parts of running a giant million-dollar pottery studio with hundreds of members? 

I never saw this one coming as I dreamt up this place and built it.

It’s the weird way a small handful of my members have believed it’s okay to sexually harass me.

And I’m not talking about slightly. I’m talking about blatantly, openly, and without any shame or regard to the situation it puts me in. 

We have this list of Clay Hole Commandments over on the wall, and one of the main ones is “thou shalt not sexually harass others.”

Now, to my knowledge, in the ten months we’ve been open here, not one of our members have had problems with harassment from other members.  

Nope. <sigh> Just me.

Now, I don’t really get it. I’m no supermodel. I’m frumpy and old and neurodivergent and not who I’d consider a prime candidate to receive such behavior.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been in the public eye for so long.

I don’t know if it’s something in my energy.

I don’t know if I’m accidentally saying things that come across as flirting.

I don’t know if it’s some power-dynamic they’re into.

I don’t know if it’s some common teacher student fantasy.

I don’t know if I just give off a vibe that I don’t understand. 

What I do know is that I hate it and I hate it with all my heart.

Look. This is pottery. Just about everything here can be taken as an innuendo, and I love laughing about those innuendos with my closest friends. 

Pulling handles, coning clay, the constant wet slapping sounds, the terminologies like how to slide your fingers in, or making sure it’s always wet, or being too soft or letting it get too hard. 

That shit is funny.

With my friends. 

Hell. That stuff? It’s even funny with my members, if I’m being honest. 

Little sideways smirks and giggles. Nothing wrong with that.

And that’s not what I’m talking about when I speak of harassment. 

I’m talking blatant suggestions and sexual advances, as if I’m just going to laugh and enjoy it when it’s thrust on me out of nowhere.

And then when they make these comments, they just go silent and wait for me to carry on the conversation. 

Awwwkwwaaaaard.

It’s not funny or cute to me. Quite the opposite. It’s awkward and appalling and frankly, I’m tired of pulling those tiny handful of members aside for strong boundary conversations. Can we please just stop it? 

Oh, and as annoying as those dynamics are, do you know what’s more annoying? 

When I’ve tried to tell confidants about my struggle, the first thing they almost always ask are, “well, are they cute?”

Groan, shake head, no words.

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?!

Listen. If any of you have been in this boat in your own places and spaces, I’d love your advice of how to nip this in the bud before people it ever happens in the first place.

I’m also curious, do you have the same problem I do that people mistake kindness as flirting? How do you handle that?

I’m actually not making this video just to complain. I’m making this video for two reasons. 

First, I’d love all your advice. These are uncharted waters for me.

Second, I really want something I can copy and paste a link for these people when they do start behaving in such a way. A just drop it and bail type situation.

For the record, I will never be interested. Not when they approach it like that.

Also, for the record, my current relationship status: going steady with a total smoke show

Also, for the record, gross. Yuck. No. Just don’t do that. Please. 

I work every day to make this a truly great and safe space for my members. Do the same for me.